*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*
see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it
the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
i have a lot to say
you just have to ask the right questions" — (via rhymez)
these hoes aint loyal
this shit would never happen at Target
I think that the USA needs to move on from September 11th.
Now before all you pseudo-patriots come attempting to sway my opinion with your “unwavering loyalty to the country”, let me just take a minute to explain things. I am an American. I’m a female. And I was a young girl when the events took place.
The events are tragic. I’m not saying that they aren’t. But the US government and the media make it out to be some worldwide catastrophe that claimed the lives of millions of people around the world, when really, the event only killed about 2,600 people, which in the grand scheme of things for a large country like the United States isn’t a huge number.
Also, we’re Americans. Not only are we extremely self-absorbed with our ignorance, fueled by the liberally biased media, we’re hardly sympathetic for our victims. We forced unspeakable violence upon the natives when we came here, we killed almost 150,000 people in dropping the atomic bomb in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and we’ve pointlessly murdered innocent people in the Middle East.
I understand that a lot of people died, and I should be respecting them. But while we honor the dead, we can’t have these extravagant 2-hour TV specials reading the names of all these people who died 12 years after the disaster. You don’t see Japan having these insane specials reading off the names of people who died in their terrorist attacks. Yes, that qualifies as a terrorist attack.
I honestly don’t care anymore. Terrorist attacks happen all the time in other countries every day. Just because this one happened in America doesn’t make it any different. It was a terrible thing that happened, but it’s been 12 years. We killed Osama. Why we are still in Iraq, I will never know, but that’s a story for another time. The USA is comparable to a person who still clings to their ex-spouse or significant other years after they broke up.
We have to move on with our lives. Not forget about it completely, but just move on and keep in it the back of our thoughts.
Finally someone says it.
im Canadian and I even felt gulty saying it. but this post is true as fuck.
"I want to roll over at 2 a.m. to a kiss from you not a text message"— (via pifty)
"A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it. It just blooms."— from Zen Shin Talks (via viage)
Some people just know how to do birthday cards.
birthday cards against humanity
"I wish friends held hands more often, like the children I see on the streets sometimes. I’m not sure why we have to grow up and get embarrassed about it."— Stephanie Perkins (via loveless-people)
me and you and our dogs all sleeping together on our king sized bed
medusa, trying to turn you to stone, but you accidentally called her “melissa” when you first walked in and now you’re too embarrassed to look at her. “it’s alright” she keeps saying “i get it all the time” but you still won’t look. u don’t even remember the stone thing until later